Monday, March 19, 2012

Skyrim Cocktail #3: The Cliff Racer

The Cliff Racer from Talen-Jei at the Riften Bee & Barb

This is the third and final drink in the succession of Talen-Jei's Skyrim cocktails: guaranteed to aid you in your quest to drink yourself to Oblivion. You can read recipes elsewhere on this blog for the White Gold Tower and the Velvet Lachance. As noted earlier, these drinks are redactions based on the in-game descriptions from Talen-Jei at the Bee and Barb in Riften. 
...Last, and only for the bravest of souls, we have the Cliff Racer, which is Firebrand Wine, Cyrodiilic Brandy, Flin, and Sujamma.
Both of the previous drinks we did were elegant, beautiful, fanciful drinks. This one proved the hardest to figure out - it has the most fictional ingredients, and we just couldn't wrap our heads around what it should be.

We started by researching the game history of the drink and the ingredients.

Cliff Racers are half-avian, half-reptile monsters of Vvardenfell in The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind. This is ostensibly where the drink gets its name. Cliff Racers are something like perpetually cranky pterodactyls. They are highly aggressive and tend to ambush the player, attacking in swarms.
  • Firebrand Wine was the hardest to research. Other than being the subject of a side quest for the Thieves' Guild quest line in Skyrim, it was pretty open to interpretation.
  • Cyrodiilic Brandy is clearly well... brandy. It's expensive and imported.
  • Flin is also an expensive import: an Imperial Whiskey with few negative side effects that is often the subject of contentous exorbitant pricing.
  • Sujamma is a potent Dunmer liquor highly valued as a strength potion.
So let's see.... expensive brandy and whiskey, that's not too tough to find. Some sort of fancy wine or spirits...firebrand=firewater...?? Something spicy or cinnamon flavored, perhaps? Lastly... a Strength potion. Hm... a strength potion. A stren-...Wait, Wha-!? WTF?!



We quickly came to the disturbing realization that this drink is the Skyrim equivalent of a Jaeger Bomb. Quickly redubbed the White Trash Tower and the Skyrim Cart Bomb, we set about the dubious business of designing a drink that we'd be embarrased to order in public.

Not being huge fans of Red Bull, it took a LOT of tries, and a lot of drinks down the drain to get this to a point that it was drinkable. I think it was more because of the Red Bull than the actual mix or recipe. Gwen and I...well, we don't care much for Red Bull, it seems.

By the way, you know what they say about the more drunk you are, the less you care about what you're drinking? It's not true. I was plastered and every sample still tasted like licking the inside of a double-wide. From 1970.

In the end, we came up with a recipe that is suitably trashy, alcoholic and energizing. This drink is served as a bomb shot, ie: a tall glass of mixer into which is dropped a shot of some high proof spirit. Because how else would you serve a classy drink like this?

Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you like), one shot didn't really make it as strong as Talen-Jei's description inferred, so we figured the answer was the solution to all of life's little problems: ADD MORE ALCOHOL. Double bomb: 1 Red Bull + 2 Shots.

"Only for the bravest of souls" is right. Be warned that if you don't like Red Bull, it's gonna taste like ass. For lovers of Red Bull, it's not bad. The cinnamon really works. Trust me when I tell you that there's no way this can taste worse than some of our failed unholy recipe testing attempts (NEVER drink box-merlot+cheap blackberry brandy+red bull+cheap whiskey unless you like drinking pee).

Not for the faint of heart.

1 Red Bull in a pint glass (Sujamma)
1 Shot Goldschlager or Cinnamon Schnapps (Firebrand Wine)
1/2 Shot Good Brandy (Cyrodilic Brandy - sub fruit brandy)*
1/2 Shot Good Whiskey (like Jameson)*
*Note that if you're really feeling it, you can make it a triple by changing the recipe to 1 full shot each of brandy and whiskey. Just remember that if it comes back up, the Red Bull will too.

Serve it with the shots on the side, or just make a big pitcher and fill your ale hat with it for the NasCART finals. Recommended food pairings: Doritos, Apple Cabbage Stew or Hungry Man Dinners. Don't forget your WhiteSnake Greatest Hits Cassette!! Or just loop Ragnar the Red over and over again on your console.


  1. I' going to have to try this, though I think I'll substitute the red bull for something a little sweeter, and maybe fruitier, like Monster.
    'Nother great cocktail recipe I cannae wait to try meself, thank'ee sai

    1. hmnn my redbull is pretty sweet but guess that what you will end up for the export version of it..

  2. Now this might be cool. I'll try the White-Gold Tower and the Velvet Lachance.

  3. Wouldn't red bull be more like a stamina potion? Still a pretty cool mix though.

  4. I never knew about Skyrim cocktail and got o know about it on this blog. Actually I am planning to throw a cocktail party at my farmhouse. For that I was looking for cheap but good brandy brands so we can have some fun.

  5. Sujamma cannot be RedBull as it is brewed from sujammal berries and amber malt. Sujamma berries look like blue berries in game, so maybe some sort of blueberry schnapps? If there is such a thing.

    1. Hmmm... see now you've got me wanting to see if I can come up with a version of Sujamma!

      It wouldn't surprise me if there were a blueberry schnapps out there. Another option might be blueberry juice, either from fresh crushed blueberries, canned blueberries, or possibly found in the health foods section of your local grocery store.

    2. Except that it's a strength potion, so it's got to be some sort of energy drink. Schnapps doesn't really fit the in-game description. If we could find a blueberry or razzleberry flavored energy drink, that would probably hit it on the head.

    3. It's a good idea, thanks! I think a lot of new colors/flavors have come out since we originally wrote the post.

    4. I live in Colorado and we have Bing Energy drinks (from bing cherries, but they also have a raspberry that might work.)

  6. There is a rockstar drink called rockstar 21. It is an energy drink containing a small amount of alcohol. That way it is both a liqour and a strenght potion. If one could aquire that, perhaps with the taste of blueberry. I think it would be spot on..

  7. no it's not Red Bull because RB is made from bull testicles, V is made from Guarana berries, like Sujamma is made from Sujamma berries ;-) i think that recipe needs an adjustment